Welcome to your forties, when your body and mind start acting up. They’ll punk you at every turn because, evolutionarily speaking, nature is no longer invested in making your skin glow or your boobs perky or in having you remember where you left your car keys. For the record, I don’t feel like I’m in my forties but the signs are there!
40) You are somewhat disturbed that the only time you get to turn on a radio is in your car.
39) You still have a CD collection, yet – it’s been years since you bought a CD by a new artist.
38) VHS and cassette tape still mean something to you and the word rewind has never really left your vocabulary.
37) You know how to read a printed map and a Rand McNally is tucked away somewhere in your car.
36) Chances are, you have printed a college paper on this.
35) You and your friends walked or rode a bike for miles unsupervised under the age of 12.
34) MTV’s was a music video channel. The Real World was the closest thing to a reality show. Now, you’ve no idea what happened to MTV and there’s a reality show for anybody and everything imaginable.
33) Everything you think happened five years ago actually happened 15 -20 years ago! Season 1 of Survivor debuted in 2000, the Tsunami in Thailand happened in 2004 and Brokeback Mountain premiered in 2005!!
32) You’re supervising someone in your team who does not know who Al Gore is and one of the HR training for managers is How to Handle Parents of Millennials.
31) A pal from college is in town visiting colleges for their junior or senior high kid.
30) You get carded fewer and fewer times each time you go out.
29) You’ve seriously begun thinking about what retirement will look like if you don’t start socking away right now.
28) You browse the hair dye aisles, not for a trendy new color but to contemplate if there is any wisdom in covering up the increasing number of gray hair strands.
27) When an Actavia or Metamucil commercial comes on, instead of dismissing it you wonder – Hmm … Does it work?
26) Your shoe collection is increasingly more “sensible or practical” and on the night you do wear the 9-inch heels you carry Dr. Scholls Fast Flats in your purse or car.
25) You no longer skip a year or two on that “annual” checkup.
24) Naps! These are nuggets of gold and you really shouldn’t like sitting down this much.
23) You go to bed when you are tired and you truly enjoy a good night’s sleep.
22) Each year begins with a promise to take better care of yourself – a vicious cycle of empty promises.
21) You believe you caught a glimpse of your mom in the mirror, only to realize it’s you! Startling, right?!!
20) Your bones start cracking more than old wood floors. And once you kneel or bend over, you’re not so quick to get up!
19) More of your friends are announcing separations and divorces than engagements.
18)You attend 3 and 4-year old birthday parties because it might be a while before you see that group of friends who are moms.
17) “Suddenly” you’re older than the athletes in your favorite sports teams – college and pro!
16) You’ve started to schedule your Friday nights around watching Dateline on NBC and reruns of the original Law & Order is comfort TV.
15) You can’t drink as much booze. Well, you can….. But you pay for it dearly the next day. Hangovers have become even more wicked. When trading stories about last night you find yourself saying, Wait! What happened?
14) You’ve come to realize that style is not about the latest fashion trend. Style is a good attitude and confidence is cool and sexy.
13) You begin to pick your shaving battles wisely – what to shave, how much and how often … or not at all. Hey, it’s your body, do whatever you want with it!
12) Speaking of sexy, you miss describing your boobs as grapefruit shaped, firm, decent sized. Not the lumpy piles of flapjacks that literally flop to the side when you lie down!!
11) On the bright side, you are so looking forward to forty – they say sex gets better. You’re more comfortable in your body now and you know how to ask for what you want. Hear that? Sex gets better!
10) One name – Michael Jackson! Do remember where you were when you heard the news he’s dead? Your favorite and biggest entertainers who defined and lay down the soundtrack of your generation are dead.
9) Mortality is real. You knew it all along but now you really know it! Few things in our lives are more traumatic than planning a funeral of a parent, a spouse or partner, your own child or a dear friend.
8) You are more honest with yourself. You can look back and admit you’ve made some poor and “interesting” choices but instead of beating yourself up with guilt, you take it as a life lesson learned.
7) No more drama. You hate it and won’t tolerate it in your relationships.
6) You’ve learned it’s best to let go of a relationship that constantly hurts you. You’ve trimmed, pruned, fumigated and tossed out toxic people from your life. Then nurtured and nourished until you have achieved that inner circle of true authentic friendships. You are worthy of healthy relationships.
5) You’ve mastered The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k. You don’t care what people think anymore. You realize that no one cares about what you’re doing. Not that people don’t care about you, they do, but that they aren’t obsessing over the decisions you make or the life you live.
4) You invest time and energy on people you love and love you back.
3) Priorities have rearranged themselves. The people you call family comes first!
2) You begin to feel that you have found your voice. You have a clearer vision of who you are and what you believe in.
1) And the number one sign that you are in your forties is you somehow you survived an accident-prone childhood, your reckless teens, your carefr
ee 20s and your dirty 30s. You are ALIVE!
What is one sign that for sure made you feel you are not as young as you used to be?
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