In the spring of 2016, I sat on a hairdresser’s chair full of anxiety on what to do with my hair. It was thinning out badly due to the Lupus and GPA medications I was on. She did her best to make me look decent, yet inside I was riddled with self-consciousness, I wanted to hide and my confidence had taken a blow.
Hair – it seems that’s is such a big part of the feminine culture, especially for black women. We (women) may not like to admit, but it surprisingly plays a huge role in our confidence, no matter how we wear it. I don’t think more than a week goes by with a discussion on hair – short, long, straight, braids, weave, wig, natural, relaxed, type, style, cut, color, conditioner, moisturizer, LOC – women’s hair is a billion dollar industry!
Photos (above) of that time, made me choke up. While I wore a smile, my mind’s eye was squarely in the dark side. All I saw was the thinning hair, my face was the classic moon-face – puffy from all the high-dose steroids and acne was ravaging my face like a pubescent teenager, not a 41-year old. I’d been reluctantly thrust into the “big chop”. In fact, I wore wigs for a couple of months until I had some courage to let go.
Fast forward, a year later to 2017, I realized I’d been dwelling on low self-esteem, feeling trapped, and engaging in negative and limiting behavior. I needed to snap out of it and fast.
The first key to any change is self-awareness. You must acknowledge what the problem is and how it’s manifesting in your life. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge where you need a confidence boost.
Realizing that I cannot change what I couldn’t confront, I contacted my hairdresser and ask for an appointment for a haircut. Then proceeded to search the interwebs for styles that I thought I’d like and sent her photos of what I had in mind. To her credit she didn’t question why I wanted a cut, she simply booked me for a Saturday afternoon appointment.
I willingly got a haircut – a Mohawk to be precise!! While it was a haircut that brought me there, my negative attitude is what really needed to be cut off. I realized just how much psychologically and physically I have overcome. I felt sexy and stylish and smart – a whole new me. I stepped off of that same chair confident and triumphant. To do this on my terms felt victorious.
Don’t allow low self-confidence to hold you down and keep you from your best self.
And remember, it’s about taking action and using what you know to change how you live. Do something today to become the self-assured, extraordinary, and happy person hiding inside you.
Your turn…
What has helped you boost your confidence during times of self-doubt? What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when you’re struggling with low self-esteem? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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