Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~ Dinah Craik
In May, I vacationed with a group of my close girlfriends. If you’ve ever done any type of trip planning for a group, you know it’s no easy task. Then comes the trip itself – this is where the true test of your friendship lies. Brace yourself for some laughs, drama, crying, reflection and if you make it through still talking, you passed the test (…. how I wish it were that simple)! At the end of this trip, I felt like we really grew closer to each other and it got me thinking about sisterhood, friendships, and BFFs.
What is friendship? What exactly makes a relationship a sisterhood? There is no one answer. It could be your own sister or cousin but many times there is no blood relation. It’s a random person with whom you crossed paths and from there a bond began to form. Sometimes the bond is instant, sometimes it grows over time. Sometimes it’s more than one friend that forms the sisterhood.
You laugh, you cry, sometimes both at the same time. You defend and support each other. You push, scold, and sometimes even anger each other to protect and grow each other. You love the things that drive you crazy. Sisterhood is a bond that is so deep it goes beyond friendship.
Have you ever had that kind of sisterhood friendship?
- The one who you’ve shared ugly cries and laughed with so much your belly aches
- The one who raised an eyebrow at your dubious taste in men but always had your back
- The one who you’ve taken questionable risks with, in the name of fun and yet felt fearless because you were together
- The one who judges not your differences but seeks to understand
- The one who you experience genuine authentic joy as you watch her soar
- The one who you want to share with the world because no insecurities exist about your friendship
- The one who challenges you to grow because they see your potential long before you do
- The one who is the keeper of your darkest secrets and champion of most ambitious, outrageous, wild dreams
- The one with whom time and distance simply vanish
- The one who accepts you just as you are and makes you feel that you are enough and worthy
There are no written rules about friendship and sisterhood but at some level, you’ve committed to a code of conduct that’s effortless, authentic and natural.
You’ve promised to be open and honest with each other; There is no room for jealousy and power struggles; You promise to be there when she needs you and give her space to be on her own; When vulnerable you can count on each for strength; You promise to really listen so that she knows she’s been heard; You celebrate each other’s unique gifts; You show empathy and compassion; Core values of your friendship are entwined with trust and loyalty. You communicate. You value each other just as you are.
I am so blessed that I have enjoyed such a sisterhood for almost 30 years!! I know there a people out there who never experienced this kind of friendship. Others have had it but suffered a broken heart, when one part of the sisterhood was gone too soon.
This type of sister-friend is rare and precious and all the more reason I promise to never take my friend for granted.
So I challenge you to pick up a pen and paper and write to your best friend. In this digital age of texts and where even an actual voice call is rare, actually, write to each other. Yes – actual letters, hand-written, and with postage stamps and all!! Tell her how amazing she is and don’t hold back in telling her that you love her.
To my dearest friend, co-conspirator, partner-in-crime, BFF, bestie, sister-from-another-mother, if our friendship was a legal contract, it would be just six words – I’ll Be There For You – for the next 30, 40, 50, 60 -something years and beyond!
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